It’s usually better to address uncomfortable management truths

Sometimes there’s an uncomfortable ‘truth’ in a management situation.

Some made-up examples:

1. Frankie doesn’t want to work at 80k anymore – and has started applying elsewhere.

2. Arpita’s manager Abe doesn’t think that Arpita is currently strong enough at overseeing 80k’s tech security and is sceptical that she can grow into the role.

3. Gavin is frustrated that 80k has been failing to evolve in the way his Tour of Duty indicated it would.

4. Leda would really like to work on podcast editing – but that would mean being managed by Joe, so she’d prefer to stay on Kiara’s team.

When people are new to management at 80k, they often lean away from addressing these kinds of topics.

This is very understandable! The topics are somewhat unpleasant; it feels like there might be some harm done just by looking at them or by making them salient; it’s not clear that they’re tractable; and it’s possible to bungle the conversation or hurt someone’s feelings.

However, I claim that it’s usually better to address uncomfortable management ‘truths’ – and that experienced managers¹ tend to update towards this view.

Here are some of the positive things that can happen when you address these truths:

1. Sometimes you’re mistaken about an aspect of it.

2. You feel a sense of relief. The discomfort you felt avoiding it is reduced.

3. It moves the problem away from being an issue with the other person to a shared problem which the two of you can look at together ‘as a team’ and determine how best to approach.

4. The standard benefits of organisational transparency.

   1. Creates a culture where people don’t need to guess what’s happening / waste their energy on it.

   2. Increases the # of people with context who can help solve things.

   3. etc.

5. You now have the ‘language’ with which to talk about the uncomfortable thing – such that you can name it when you talk about how decisions are being made.

6. You can get started on actions necessary to deal with the situation sooner – succession planning, moving someone into a new role, etc.

There’s lots to say about having these conversations well – doing so requires a substantive set of skills!

If I could point you to three resources on this subject, they would be these:

1. The book Crucial Conversations

   1. The authors say a crucial conversation is “a discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong”

2. The field of Non-Violent Communication ∑

3. 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership (workshops / books / coaching)

If I could only say three sentences to you, they would be these:

During this conversation, you need to radiate a sense that the two of you are fundamentally on the same team and that the two of you are going to treat one another with kindness as you navigate this shared problem. If you can’t think of a way into naming the issue, allude to it in a few sentences and invite them to describe how they see the issue. They will very likely have done some work on characterising it, you’ll learn a lot just by hearing how they’re thinking about it, and starting the conversation with a framing they’ve been using is a great way in.

1. Or at least experienced managers in environments relevantly similar to 80k’s. I suspect the main relevant factor is whether there’s a lot of latitude in role design, but there are some other ‘softer’ cultural factors too.